Divinity

 

Divinity

The sins in me
I live in the trenches but there are homes for people like us

And interest in this mischief that is an acting out plague

Do you claim the space that you own? Or is Life one big exit wound

Do you act out right?

Divinity
The pig in me

I live underground but I can still hear the bombs falling on the trenches I once called home

My gaunt body knocking together to create a symphony that secures me some time away

Do you live on another world? Or are those others planets scientist speak of just man made pearls

Do you live by your word?

 

Divinity
I’m numb

My mysticism goes as far as I can see

And I’ve gone a long way to see something that would make my heart beat again

Do you believe in god? Or is he what’s on the cover of the next magazine?

Will I burn in hell?

This Girl

This girl,
Still on my mindMy heart was to heavy with you inside
But now it’s to damn light and i feel like i could glide
Please baby hold me down again

This girl,
Lost in my late night nostalgia
Reviewing old messages of hope
Her skin against mine would make me glow 
I feel just like a kid he just won’t let it go
Because life is to slow without you in it

I’ll fight and never feel complete
I just can’t let it go
This girl is so beautiful within her flow
Life is a puzzle, and i just can’t seem to figure it out

My Life

Yo, nearing the image of suicide growing up in a world where my drink of choice was cyanide, you think I lied, this poetry harder than most writers who have lived or died
Writing with blood dripping down my arm trying to disarm my mind before I dismantle everything in my body, my head down gripping a shotgun, out here they don’t have funny names, because in these parts they don’t play little stupid games

Even these parts, walking around skinny with scratches on your wrist, wearing hand me down jeans laced with your little brothers pissed

Your face…stained with my and daddy’s fist

They were going to fornicate or get drunk quit before they got real mad and they’d start into a violent fit
this is real life, making weapons when you’re three

My eyes so closed I had teach myself how to see, while I got judged for my pants that didn’t match the tee

In a rich little school where looks were the key

Hated by my own race, it came natural

Listening to metal that sounded a lot more factual

Rocking my body back and forth with my walls splattered with blood, my back covered in sweat and going downtown with my life being my first bet

Some said quit the sad talk, be happy

With my teeth all fucked and my hair still nappy

How was I supposed to have a chance, born with a predisposition?

I’m not strong enough to keep seeing my dad’s dead body or listening to my mother flipping

 

The music sounds like an orchestra, waiting my for mom to hit me with a nice hard slap and my dad out of the corner of my eye, wielding a baseball bat
My aunt Cleo said she knew what was going on, but she was to busy watching the game to even Yawn

Injuries matched with inconsistencies, I tried to make myself a different entity

But I was so from it, I didn’t just free fall I gunned it

Feeling like massacring everything and everyone around me, but I loved them to much to see, the amount of pain that I had grown to relive and give on paper

Scars as long as your intuition, looking for a friend

Screaming holding my ears as a pre-teen waiting for the brutality to end

Forced to defend and now I’m subjected to therapy

With some old white woman named Marty telling me to go and school and learn all types of fancy grammar

My words have the Killswitch and the pencil is the hammer

Looked down by most as a heathen and some a fiend

Killed before I even became a teen, the smell of the mop on the floor with the blood curdled up by the door

Get scared during movies, feeling weird when seventeen year old boy is a virgin, expected to become a whore or at least blow something up wearing some type of turban

They say they understand me but the most they could handle is my description being a little bit urban

If this is to dark, I dare you to not proceed

Because for once I’ll be the mouth and you’ll be the meat

Epochs and Entities

We lost the controller to the machine, but it controls itself alone desperate beneath ages of science

Ethics and Epochs don’t always mix with compliance, if I could wipe this world up I’d dance one more time before the meteors come crashing down and the planets collide

No Blurred lines, no blurred images, just mass death and proof that this was the end

Not the end we expected, but something to talk about and make a joke or two, maybe three?
We have a couple of minutes to serenade so let’s get it done, food for thought moments away from being cooked and shoved onto a broken plate, thoughts of the future cracked like what I can’t see

I couldn’t feel anything all I saw was the meteors coming my way

Words couldn’t describe anything and nothing came to my mind to say

I was watching what used to be lies and myths unfold, the thunder I could hear sprawling through my window

I was terrified, the apartment was blood red and my fear splattered upon the four walls of my sanctuary

I had no way to communicate, my voice was taken away and buried beneath a childlike wonder of the doom that was head

I slip the blinds back and saw meteors falling from the sky, the city looked to be falling off the edge of the earth slowly descending upon the bowels of Earth, and I found religion suddenly because it looked like the worst hell there was

I dived forward to grab hold of something that wasn’t there

I’d surrender in fear if I knew that my prayers would be answered sincere.
The world was ending, and I had ten minutes to tell you how….

iLL

I want to bleed them dry, I’ll Never die, ill immortalize my name, Although I’d take a very nice pen over nice cars and fame, Go!

 

I’m gonna dance as your pendulum swings, I’m gonna grace the sky as you start thinking about when to begin, No! I want to end when they start spitting benign words, I want to roll my dice and never die, and I want to take your pitiful ego and bleed it dry

 

 

 

I hear them laughing as I wake up in hell, but I’m a chemical that doesn’t mix well, I’m perpendicular to sick, parallel to whatever is left, I want to go iLL and stand still, I never took my eyes away when I wasn’t the predator but the kill

 

Now I dance to an ominous tune, I’m the king of the hill, independent of the population’s unrealistic lust of the dollar bill, I repudiate therapy and request for the slub to twist aside, I smile as the painful episodes subside, this is the season and I’m ready for war, but I have to stay alive as my mind contemplates treason, I continually attempt to outsmart reason

 

 

 

I told you I’m a chemical that doesn’t mix, above adolescence so please save your tricks, you cant insure this type of fire, you can’t stare at the starlight as the game switches lanes. These rules are insane, but my grandma said beat them up, Plain

 

 

 

Yo, you don’t know my past so don’t judge my present pain, you can’t predict my iLL tendencies, you could pick the day when I’ve fired my restraint, and I’ve earned the right to reign upon what is left, I’m Ambidextrous, so I’ll always have the upper hand, I’m a poor excuse of a man but I have the most desirable girl in the land, YES!

 

 

 

Every time I publish a poem I spit in the trauma that won’t leave me alone yeah, because you aren’t talking to a typical body laced with perfection, this is the shit coming from the poster boy of something killer that embraces his own rejection, I’m just iLL far from an infection. I rock my head to Indie pop, my wordplay transcends a common flow, call it Poetic Diddy Bop

 

 

 

Yeah, I’m Going to Do it, make it look pretty in every way, I want to be her city everyday

 

Yeah, I’m going to Do it, stand by everything I ever did say, I want to be with my Dad everyday

 

 

 

Motherfuck this god damn Cabaret, I’m gonna glorify my sickness and Identity. Don’t step on my amendment, constantly, this is way too dramatic to be a play, but don’t distort the arrangement or skip the foreplay, you’ll have a youthful Killswitch Engagement, so watch what you Say

 

Stay and mix my emotion, I think about disses and chaos, as my cat pisses and licks his missing balls, just like I wrote this piece and duty calls, my grandma told me, beat them up plain

 

Touch the sky strong, and make my spherical heart oblong, I’ll turn my suffering into a song, a golden oldie instead of trying to keep it where it belongs. I wrote survivor art and a renaissance, I’m far beyond living for what’s right and wrong…

 

I’m going to do it for my grandma so every time she wakes up, she can see her grandson is keeping it tough

 

I’m Going to do it for my grandma so every time she wakes up, she can see her grandson is keeping it tough

 

Hit It Yeah! I wish life was fair, but I have to enjoy the time and not make it so rough, I’m gonna hold her hand so when she wakes up, I can remind her that I stayed tough…

Isolation/Agreed

, Isolation

Oh, I wish you see all this beauty, i wish this tear painted a picture of light, I wish i knew who i am, I wish i was alright

Haunted by Self-Reservation, Curious beyond all the lies, someone go help that poor baby, i cant take listening to him cry, without love he surely will die

I grew plants in Isolation, I taught it everything it knows, confused by its transformation, its hideous beyond its wildest imagination, it regains power quicker then I

I picked skin in Isolation, to balance my fucked up mind. I dreamed of blue lakes and the sky, but i loathed all of mankind

If I prayed to loud they would beat me, so it was hard to remember my lines

These walls were made out of memories, so many i couldnt recall. So I began to rewrite the bible, Revelations didnt match an inevitable fal

I thought about all my friends all throughout the world, to balance my lonely thoughts

I wanted to go and see them, but if I did id surely be caught

Isolation was the uglist cell, but view wasnt really to bad. They teased me with laughter and games, to keep us so fucking sad

The walls whispered of a riot, i believed on true, If I met my maker, i’d beat him until he was blue, but the chaos in isolation, came when the moon was blue

The spirits howled and screamed, as my sentence came to an end. My body was so weak that i could barely stand

I hugged the walls like my mother, i wanted to conquer the land

They hit me until i moved, but i stood where i would stand…

 

 

AGREED

Have you Heard this before, in your aural periphery, I downtuned my emotions to make them muggy on a beautiful day

My friend’s body was left swinging, we were taught spirituality as we drowned in herbal tea, I questioned my dignity day by day, I wrote that boy’s eulogy, but only my pen had something to say

I DONT LIKE THIS SHIT

I DONT LIKE THIS MUD

He was a good kid, i question why the best tend to spill their blood

We were in a state of desperation, be we have to agree with their Law

YOU DONT NEED THIS DISEASE

YOU DONT NEED TO SEE WHAT I SAW

PLEASE DONT GET THIS DISEASE

PLEASE DONT SEE WHAT I SAW

The Hallways smelled like the present, the future was what they made us resent

Relentless Fire, but he burst his flesh because he wanted a kiss

I HATE THIS SHITI DONT LIKE THE WAY IT LOOKS

I want to hear some music that means something to me

Far from an urban hymms, Im not a fan of melodies, jingles or Epiphanies

I escaped isolation, but this was another time

I do myself a diservice with suede rhymes positive flow laced with wind chimes

I like simple things

Im not a Man of my word

We’ve seen to much to go along with drama and beef

The children dont understand its KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL…

We forgot the ways our mothers raised us

We forgot the days, when there was difference between right and wrong

Its just been to long…

I felt like Layne Steeley was singing to me as i slept, I  felt like I was losing what they taught me, the heart i wish i could’ve kept

Drugs took my friends away, Poison grabbed my closest friends

Sobriety will save me from my end

I was chained, but i have love to send, but when i look around i still hate all this shit

Everything i see, you have to respect my pain, maybe believe, what this place is doing to me

Im going to stand when im told to sit!

Why is it weak to cry for my friends floating in the sky

I cry everyday reliving the day they died

I cant think of them, I Cry when i think of where i had to begin

MY HAND GRACED THE SKY, AND I LOVE TO SHOW THEM WHERE I AM

 

Nothing to Lose (Re-Release)

November 23, 2012 at 3:10am

 

I need to find of meaning of my own 

Because the ghost of the past keeps roaming through these halls

Its the chill that runs through my body when yu call, and its the words that I remember when you speak

Its the souveniers from the destruction i chose to keep

The layers of stone that I dig, not deep enough

The barrier between between you and I had been so tough

Worrying about the label, striking late night reminder

I used to cry heavy tears because I thought i’d never find her

Lovelorn and torn, confused days going from the chosen one to wishing i was never born

I would have sworn the wind was blowing this way, I was wrong and left to worship the ashes of yesterday

I used to smile and strip down my fears, they were displayed naed for a person who I thought truly did care

I would always battle your demons with you dear, but I cant replace your lovers from the past so through throw me to the side

If the words were sewn together then I know the string lied

If the world was to collapse, then at least I tried

Clear Skies, and I wish i could be everything they are

I wouldnt be me, but i’d be closer to you

Not forced to look from so far

The solemn aggression of the night as I wish upon a star

I want to scream just to petrify the pendelum, burn the blasphemy to perpetuate the other side of the discusion

I can emphasize your touch

I thought the days we watched each other were sincere

I was met on those empty nights with the moons stare 

Things change, but that doesnt make it fair

There was a drumroll

My heart raced with the pace of the shadows

I rise in the darkness still to cast a doubt

I’m the main character of my story, but i never wrote what it is about

And as I sit and wonder what happened to you and me I bleed thinking of you and him

I destroy, construct and burn to begin

My scriptures laced with sin, holding for dear life waiting for it to actually begin

I need to lean on you

I need to understand whats true and not confuse times where i only have little to gain and nothing to lose, no in between

 

Actions Speak Loud, But Words Can Be Amplified

 

Actions speak loud, but words can be amplified

 

We expected some kind of night today, rats in the alley won’t integrate

 

Pleasure of the night locked away, worship an epoch ignore reality

 

Wont serenade

 

Watching the night catch fire with a pair of new shades

 

It’s the bombs of the past that make us pontificate

 

Its corporate skylines and sealed doors that keep us in place

 

Ticking time bomb, time to start the race

 

I’ll tell you about rats in the alley to calculate

 

Placebo is the isle as sunset waits, for the world to adjust to oversized cities

 

Actions speak loud, but words can be amplified

 

I fell into the mud but at least I tired, the moon is revealing the time and I can’t breath

 

There are a thousand great things coming this way, but society really messed up today

 

Blasphemy is painted on the pictures of life, integrity is being held down by a knife

 

Rats in the alley won’t leave and they’re desperate

 

Holding onto the problem like a surrogate, process the information and we won’t chase it down

 

They can’t control what we say, as they turn into protesting vibrant sounds

 

Burning towns, wishing that the echo wasn’t around

 

Howling trees, a gust of wind whispering to

The racing rats march as they

The highway is full and they stare like enemies 

The walls are building with a propensity

They are imposters, this isn’t the world’s entity

The rats are running with divinity

The beaches are covered with regret and lost hope

Delve deep into the bright city to find treasure and elegant lights

Breakdown to cope, but the skyscrapers suggest rebuilding

The buildings prove there is no god, so we just go on believing in luck

This is a bleak existence as the city approaches a black hole

They made the gun, but we made the goal

We’d do anything to see the sun