If i Could Love you Once


If I could love you once before I die
The grim reaper could appear and I’d stand as the end was nigh

I’d feel as strong as a thousand lovers loving from within

You are so beautiful
You are just so pure

I believe I’d crumble if you left me alone
For my pursuit there is no cure

I feel like I might burst

Or Give in

Living life multiplying your divisions

I’m pleading to my lord and savior to let me live

But just don’t look at me wrong…

….As I cry for her love to give

Life Will Go on Without Her

I need your love to find me
I’ve been searching through books to try and find some truth
to how I used to see you

The way you twirled around
Could I stay by your side and guarantee our safety

I wonder if I died tonight If I’d think that I made the right choice
Or if I’d crumble underneath the sound of your voice
The smell of your neck warms me with a tear in my eye

All the hope in my heart escapes as I remember hometown sins

But if you took my hand tonight maybe god would hear me

This is the first time I’ve ever been at your door, but willyou let me in

I need your love to find me
As I back into the wall there is a fear of flight
I cry as they reject me
I stand as they applaud
If I could change all the things that happened to me in the past,
I’d forgive my friendly sins because they are here to stay

I want to live till a day where there is more at play
I need your love and I need it tonight


I burn trash from the sky and soak loneliness in dye

Daydreaming about places neon in shine
I’ve loved the fear in approaching you
I love the conclusion in all your signs


I need you to love me tonight, is that something you can do?
I’d stop time for you and only you


I wish i could see you in my reflection, or maybe even in sight

Maybe my desires, are ones that are worth a fight

But i count on love to hold me up

When the truth just has to be enough

I have a feeling that if you took my hand maybe we could go flying

Flying high into the night

Brings a tear to a young man’s eye

That what i want will never be right


My Hope

Hope is in the almighty form of just staying alive, keeping my eyes open

Because when they drift close I swear I’m going to panic, I’ll know that the sickness found me

Sweat dropping down my forehead, thinking about when I’ll be dead

Before then hope is a stream full of blood, reality mixed with dreams flowing through the earth

I’ll be a drop of water that flows down stream

I’ll be there between rocks and passing fish toward the big city

Holding my breath, under the water?                      
Holding onto memories close to my chest, heading toward the big city

A town without pity, heading for big things

Maybe a couple of awards, a few rings for my mother

If it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have been born, no other

And then maybe I can stand atop a mountain and look down at a city I have conquered

I might be covered in blood, but I had to pass through the jungle before climbing up the peak

Its love that I seek, but I might be just a bit to meek

As I float down that stream, maybe holding my love

I’ll be heading towards the waterfall clutching her with all my heart

My hope is that through all those years, I’ll have someone who can hold my hand that long

Someone who won’t just wanted float down stream with me, but who will want to fall down the waterfall

Beautiful Girl

When I was losing stars in the night I wished the sky to be blue


As I drowned in all this holy water, all I could think of was you

This is the beginning; I overcame a time when glimpses of sun were to few

And I believe in you and everything because you are so true

As a new rose grows, I want to take your hand, run and not even stop for the sun

Our hearts pacing,

Because I want life to not matter at all, the seconds and minutes pass one by one

You’re blinding, that I want to fast forward to new times and then go back and live in rewind

Because you are one of a kind

Auttimn, I was waiting for the clouds to pass over, but now I’m going to read this poem aloud

Something so blue, and now all that’s on my mind is you

I stare into your eyes to the sound of a melody, because your grace is the symphony

To say what exactly that it meant to me, to pass along transcending dimensions to create a better entity

The seasons were there to take care, and then summer past and autumn came to appear

Look in the mirror and you’re a dazzling dancer in the question of life, in which you are the answer

To a life worth living, I’ve been parading around the old past looking for pain to be forgiven

A life worth living


I can’t wait until tomorrow to give her my heart with giving

You were the stars from the start, and just like trouble times each night the sun departs

And the night tends but the day restarts, and you are

Imagination compared to sorrow, it’s the fact that if I’ll go slow so WE CAN BE TOMORROW

It’s the clouds they hold you my dear, so if I should wipe a tear or listen to you as you conquer each fear, I want you to know I sign all my poems sincere

I was caught in the sea battling me; doorway to the future is entry I can’t see

I kept fishing under the moon, they told me to be patient and that my catch wouldn’t come so soon

Turns out, it went past June, and I would walk around Sovereign park, when the light shined upon couples and gloom complimented the dark

I knew nothing about girls, until I met this pearl

In one day I stared and my life became a swirl

Next week I had to be dreaming, but this scene and this conflict I was fleeing

I realized it was the most beautiful girl in my world that I was seeing

In her beauty I was believing, and as I stared with wondrous eyes

My chest began to curl because,

I’m so fond of this beautiful girl

For Auttimn :))


walk into the forest too deep wrapping my heart for you to keep
I woke up from a deep sleep I roamed around cold beach like a creep I anticipated the night a quiet riot they kidnap the light
loves tide, the day i stared into your eye, doubt committed suicide. In you arms, i couldve cried, instead rage took hostage with a insidious lie
Id love to say i could try, but with you absent id rather die.

She called calligraphy, my art,my biography. Im a tyrant, painfully referencing life’s bibliography. As soon as i realized life wasnt smiles and flowers, i found you to stare at for hours. Scared by a dispassionate kiss, dolorous by the puddle of old piss.

Id take a stroll, heartbreaks sedatives had taken a toll. I was high on false hope, i built a fortress to try and cope but god got to me. I was going to slit my throat, hoping the blood would keep afloat long enough to see the sunshine. Howls of experimentation, forsaken with loves temptation. Nothing could fructify your lost sensation.

I stood then, my mind below a star. It flew away so far, as my overachieving repertoire kept its prominence on like a dirty scar. I see you in a dream, your portrait still more beautiful then anything id ever seen. But your intentions are as sharp as a scream, i can no longer try and balance on that beam. This poem is the beginning of the team, you think your queen but it wont be long this confidence reigns supreme.

“There is a tas…

“There is a taste in my mouth as desperation takes hold, Is it something so good you can’t just function no more”

One of the best song lyrics ever. Its a verse from Post Punk Masterpiece “Love will tear us Apart” by Joy Division. Just imagine how amazing Joy Division would have been if they had made a bunch of albums. Post Punk would have become a major genre rather then an alt rock subgenre. Yeah Yeah Yeahs fell off, Bloc Party are still cool but they aren’t really Post Punk, Interpol, Editors and White Lies still sound good. I love the genre of music, everything from old U2, to Cut City, The Cure’s first album and The Horrors quickly have become one of my favorite bands. They have really made some albums Ian Curtis would be pleased with!

I’ve had the hi…

I’ve had the highest mountains
I’ve had the deepest rivers
You can have it all but life keeps moving

I take it in but don’t look down

‘Cause I’m on top of the world, ‘ay
I’m on top of the world, ‘ay
Waiting on this for a while now
Paying my dues to the dirt
I’ve been waiting to smile, ‘ay
Been holding it in for a while, ‘ay
Take you with me if I can
Been dreaming of this since a child
I’m on top of the world.

Now, doesn’t that sound like one heck of a poem, uplifting. Just great. Now add the groovy new Alternative Rock Giants IMAGINE DRAGONS with their corny (but cute as hell) Pop Jingle to it. Now You’ve got ON TOP OF THE WORLD. It’s one of the bands best, it shows tons of diversity and its just a really nice song. But it sounds like some Rap Game Shakespeare  stuff (hehe)

Laurel’s Day (my Mother’s Birthday)

Laurel’s Day
(Happy Birthday Mom)

I hear there is a secret to the way ya do things
I’m perplexed by you sometimes mother because i wonder if we can rewrite what’s supposed to be history
Because Life used to be a mystery soaked with hilarious jokes and a lot of false smiles
Sometimes you reminisce how you walked down the aisle, or how you traveled
And sometimes i catch you unraveling oh dear mother
Don’t go just for any time, you are a superstar standing in your own way, your shadows are never to far, but i want you know that you’ll always be my star on Laurel’s Day

Please celebrate and just admit your a beautiful, i’m not lying because i don’t have a leg to pull
You are the ceiling, hanging yourself
So instead of             *Sulking*
Rearrange yourself
Oh mother, i catch you sometimes unraveling
With the weight of the world
Thinking about when you in high school, or when you were a little girl
Don’t hate yourself and don’t go this time, you might just be a superstar standing in your own way, Laurel’s Day can’t be the same without Laurel
My words can’t be true if i lacked meaning, but all these visions i’ve been seeing
They keep me believing that there is a no day that has been deceiving our line of sight, but i know that there will be Laurel’s day when its right

Whether it’s missing teeth or a overbite, you are still out of sight
Whether it’s a knock in your step, or the bands that you rep you’ll always be the next step far from obscurity
my birthday poems growing with maturity
Mom you mean more to me then any other person, i might just be a big fan, so i’ll set fire to the rain and stay right where i stand
We missed each other while i was in residential, and our relationship has never been to potential but tonight is the night for something
So listen, it’s us against the world “Fuck The Rest”
Had our finger up to the world for a minute ma
Staying calm in chaos couldnt have been from a better conglomerate

That’s our Love Baby

And with you I want to fall, beyond the horizons

            With our eyesight still in tact

And if they ever make you cry, I will whisk the dears away

Sleeping on the clouds but I’m never not with you

And when our lips lock it’s heaven

Nothing becomes between, not even the feather from the birth of space

That day when the sky separated for you and me,

I saw you standing there

With smile, oh I love you dear

I’ve lost some friends, I had my friends when we were boys and girls

But you were the heart that pumped when mine couldn’t

Your beautiful like when the skies transcend the moon

When you turn around to me, I couldn’t ever be alone, not within heart

We can the shred of truelove, that will grow so old and love so long

            And when you first came into my life, I was not the same man the next night

            When you held me deeply, I could’ve harmonized through flight

            The syllables I sung to you, came from a touch or a kiss

And if I have to fight, I will not until the night is your victory

If I ever have to swim I’ll dive far deep

The idle psalms of sunrise, lies against my cheek

In Love, if I ever did fall any deeper, I just wouldn’t even land

I’d trade one life time to hold my hand with you

Is it true, the first day we kissed, you laughed and turned the lights off and made a wish

Is it true, that when I held in the sand, I granted your wish

If we fell through the depths of hell I would hold you dear

If night tries to keep you, I’ll make it the light day

And when you held me so close while there pattered soft drops of rain

When you rubbed away my fears and cured my little pain


Was it real?

And our first night, was all that a dream, or was it just you and me

So when the nights were burning sincere, we had no fear

We had no care, I was your prince, you were my love

So don’t ever get close from me


Sometimes I walk with you and I hold your hand, I realize, that when we die, we will always be together

When your skins pressed against mine, I swim in a lake of euphoria

When we would disagree, I couldn’t get my mind of you, and you couldn’t stop thinking me

One day when we stand at the top of the world, I’ll kiss you there and say





Ode to my Grandma



Ode to my Grandma (Round 2)


Grandma, I miss the times when you’d kiss my cheek and we’d talk

About all my plans which at the time I wrote in chalk, not permanent

But now I wish I could tell you these ideas have fermented in my head and now I’m ready to live by the lyrical words and write free verse like some shit you’ve never ever heard

Because you are a Lion God, with so much passion, and I remember when you threw your cane at those kids messing with your trash and, when you told me to never give up

And sometimes I might hiccup like a pause in the beat, but I’ll claim my throne on any seat, and never concede to defeat

I’m a parasite in a system, a pistol among sharpshooters, a crazy bastard who moonlights as a master of the words

I have my own bible, notes I took from my grandma

Words she muttered between the drag of a cigarette, knife on the wall and fist like a brick, you make the call?
You take the risk, you step to her and be slapped mostly by wisdom and pep

Down to fight even with a replaced hip

She taught me…

Life is a fatal sickness, perpendicular to strep and we all have to found something to represent before we get lost in retrospect

Taking care of an entire family to ride the waves of a tsunami, traveled the world while I watched toonami

She was a boss of all bosses, live and prosper at all costs

Never count your losses, and the only time to worry

Is if the pain you feel is more than the love you’ve received

Time is a spec compared to a giant chess bored where I used to make my move, high above the trees in your backyard grandma

We’d throw rocks off the porch

Smoke a cigarette during the drama as she would count the commas, the wisdom was unreal

Something a thirteen year old boy could love and feel

And when my dad wasn’t there, my grandma was
For that there will always be lots of love

All the live I ever received paled in the comparison of my grandma and I

And as the rest of my cousins decided to hate, my grandma taught me everything and helped me decide my fate

I can read her my book, now’s not to late

Sometimes I feel like sedating myself to crawl away from life’s pain but then I remember my grandma

He didn’t stand, she ran toward the problems facing all around her land

She is so tough I like to call her my main man, but she might sock me so I stick to best friend

My favorite person from now to the end