Time

 

9 hours ago

TIMES (From www.anthonygrandin.com)

Times when you forget your own name
Author in another time
Times changing so fast, realizing that every time you see the leaves turn brown might be your last
You only live once, well i want to live forever
Through my legacy and endeavors
Forever

But as i march through the sea, my dreams stay in the shadows
Imagine being in the middle of the sea standing on water
They say that’s religious but i just call it overly ambitious
I drown in my own passion, i frown and complain
I recall my pain each day at a time
The sun goes down and i would run toward the other side

I conquered all that, can you believe that is true
I think so, but i want to hear that from you
I want to know that this isn’t surreal poetry or my damn eulogy
I want to be free on my own power, and so far i’ve been doing some walking

Going into the flames to get a cape and some other shit
Finally having some underwear that fit
Something to sing, and some time to dance
My best friend used to be a little ant, no not me
Anything to grasp, trying to be
Just to be
Until the end
Until the end

And i look at the stars in the sky
They tell me the love me
What would you say to infinite truth
What do you say when your sitting on the roof
Something so plain turns into a masterpiece in the sky
And it was then that i knew i’d never die

Seasons

When I was losing stars in the night I wished the sky to be blue

 

But,

 

As I drowned in all this holy water, all I could think of was you

 

This is the beginning; I overcame a time when glimpses of sun were to few

 

And I believe in you and everything because you are so true

 

 

 

As a new rose grows, I want to take your hand, run and not even stop for the sun

 

Our hearts pacing,

 

Because I want life to not matter at all, the seconds and minutes pass one by one

 

You’re blinding, that I want to fast forward to new times and then go back and live in rewind

 

Because you are one of a kind

 

Auttimn, I was waiting for the clouds to pass over, but now I’m going to read this poem aloud

 

Something so blue, and now all that’s on my mind is you

 

I stare into your eyes to the sound of a melody, because your grace is the symphony

 

To say what exactly that it meant to me, to pass along transcending dimensions to create a better entity

 

The seasons were there to take care, and then summer past and autumn came to appear

 

 

 

Look in the mirror and you’re a dazzling dancer in the question of life, in which you are the answer

 

To a life worth living, I’ve been parading around the old past looking for pain to be forgiven

 

A life worth living

 

And,

 

I can’t wait until tomorrow to give her my heart with giving

 

You were the stars from the start, and just like trouble times each night the sun departs

 

And the night tends but the day restarts, and you are

 

Imagination compared to sorrow, it’s the fact that if I’ll go slow so WE CAN BE TOMORROW

 

 

 

It’s the clouds they hold you my dear, so if I should wipe a tear or listen to you as you conquer each fear, I want you to know I sign all my poems sincere

 

I was caught in the sea battling me; doorway to the future is entry I can’t see

 

I kept fishing under the moon, they told me to be patient and that my catch wouldn’t come so soon

 

Turns out, it went past June, and I would walk around Sovereign park, when the light shined upon couples and gloom complimented the dark

 

I knew nothing about girls, until I met this pearl

 

In one day I stared and my life became a swirl

 

Next week I had to be dreaming, but this scene and this conflict I was fleeing

 

I realized it was the most beautiful girl in my world that I was seeing

 

In her beauty I was believing, and as I stared with wondrous eyes

 

My chest began to curl because,

I’m so fond of this beautiful girl

Spread Your Wings

Free fall to the top just to spread my wings at the peak of the Earth

 

I throw my head to the roof; I plaster the image of the past with everything I’ve got

 

Born closest to the edge, I’d tear through gravity before letting go of this ledge

 

I tear through my shirt, with each and every breath

 

I’m blessed to be driven, to set fire to the misconception that celebrity can be given

 

Turn your head but don’t look back forgiving

 

This and that, whether they are triggers that are living or the epitome of synonyms for personal business Turned down for the gates of heaven, the fallen angels cowered to the future I stared upon collecting knives at eleven

 

Free fall to the top just to spread my wings at the top of the Earth

 

They chant my name tonight, it’s been so many years and I’m going to grab life by the throat and make things right

 

A sickness is spreading so let’s hold hands and prepare to fight the good fight, we will always do it for serenity, light and I’ll always love you until this world ends, way before the time frame bent and a signal had been sent

 

I want the clock to begin, I want to see winter freeze and hear my Honeybee sing

 

If the city doesn’t like it then why do they bounce around to the combination of carving scriptures and bending sounds?

 

I ascend to Earth, navigating my way since the day of birth

 

Free falling with a smile all the way to the top

 

Surrounded by cheap gifts and absence dressed up just to burn and rot

 

I can still love, I love a lot

 

It’s calming to know, that through chilling winters a pattern can still flow

 

 

 

Silent moments for cracked motion, an excuse to burn temples and force the life stream into crazed commotion

 

I stare into the fire, and then looked into the secret in their eyes

 

Nobody could hear it, but I heard the cries

 

I was fed the lies

 

I tried, but he screamed because he was to human to live like that, so now I live like this and I found out that its peace that’s bliss

 

To stun the world with the spread of your wings, is more important the scars on your wrist

 

So we free fall in art,

 

Questioning, does an end have a start?

 

The answer to all questions is to believe in a heart, and spread your wings and fly so far because you’re strong

 

It’s easier to show you’re right then prove that you’re wrong

 

I dedicate and wrote a song, to rewrite the fall and blossom before them all

Take a Minute

The solemn aggression and pain of lonely nights, the darkness and disputes shine upon city lights

 

I sway in the wind as the feeling of doom creeps in despite all the advantages of a perpetuating preconceived desires and barren roads that seem to never end

 

They say I’m kidding but it’s a fact, it’s a stereotype of the prejudice that’s built to react

 

My past influences the way I act

 

The messages from society shield wondrous dreams, and I’m beginning to waste away it seems, and if you don’t help me now ill fade away in the misery Day in Day out

 

 

 

Misery finds a home it always does, a problem evolves from me to us, and if looks could kill I’d bury your trust

 

I’d always had my heart in hand, I always said if the tide rose I’d stand, maybe I’m just not god’s man

 

As times passes so quick, in motion my life makes me sick, and you remind me of all the things that were ever said by knowing me when my face was plastered red

 

Controlling each impulse and feeling with empty meds, and the tribulation of being hungry and having yet to be fed no, because sometimes I feel like I’m going to just drop dead

 

It’s the nights I loathe and the daylight I dread, I’m wasting away in bed, the feeling is beginning to spread and I’m fading, I’m fading Day In, Day Out, Day In, Day Out

 

 

 

Smash the window resulting in bloody knees, disgusting fiends waiting for the itch to cease

 

The moments of day when I struggle to breath, delaying celebrations because I’m trying to prove to myself that I still even believe

 

And, I remember so clearly the days I slit my wrist, I remember so clearly all the risks I took to exist

 

To abort an idea and watch it wheeze, set fire to the world, hopes and bars

 

My mind is becoming an exhibition that transcends dimensions for tradition, just so I can have faster cars, sometimes I think there is a moon man and I’m living on mars

 

And no I’m not gonna shot for the stars again, fall from the sky and die breathing in air I used to rely in

 

Day in, Day Out, the reality never speaks it shouts, Day in, Day Out, Day In Out, but I don’t want to fade away, I don’t want to leave this world today

 

There is a memory so stand still, Take a Minute prior to pulling the trigger because now I’ve got a view to a kill

 

I was promised good things that end, and I always knew they would

 

I tried to conquer this world, and even as I falter I know I still could

 

So many perfect shapes, how do I compete? Truth is what you perceive but depending on how much you believe will raise the limits on all that you receive.

 

I’m looking at the quiet sky again, and I’m looking at a close up of the past on New Year’s Eve, the silence holds aggression that builds belief, like blasphemy and grace creating a new me yeah

 

Day creeps and night tends, I’ve got the devil inside yet I ascend, and I blend animosity like it’s a trend, nutrition for a theory fueling hypocrisy, with hate so far the eye can’t see

 

And it’s the times of the night that remind, that if it wasn’t for the hate I couldn’t be me, the evil entity

 

 

 

Have you been able to pontificate about dark days and bright nights that we’ve got, making magic out of the illusions of the people in which we are not

 

I can’t think straight, the pain must stop, because if I stay to off balance I’ll drop These are the days when a father is needed by his son

 

I need someone to pick up the pieces instead of turning around to run, I need a clearer vision of the sun, because some days I feel like a big mistake, and then others like the chosen one, these are the days when I’m reminded how I was born by the knife and will live by a gun

 

This teenage minacity is less innocent then a stroll on the city, or the brutality of the town without pity, revenge and repent, tragedy of the years of doves and mud, and the present terror of the past blood

 

Stuck in my mind, its Day in Day out, stuck in design, the fear, the terror I can’t speak much clearer

 

Because the chills become sincerer, its Day in Day Out, the place more lights to shine on my drought

 

I don’t want to drown or burn away, I want to rise above and howl what I’ve got to say, without delay I want all of hell to pay before I fade away. It’s the glimpse of hope, misery of gleams, Day In Day Out its not what it seems

 

 

Never Broken

 

I stare into the apocalypse

Glitter in the shadows of the night

I’ve been knocked down but I won’t be broken

Bent and snapped back with my hands together hoping

Used to slop with diphen compounds but now I hear money sounds

Been tested by the times and now I’ve come round

You can hold me close and know that when I jump I won’t drown

 

I’ve got a feeling in my stomach that I found something so rare

But distance has never been on my side I fear

And when I count on luck, I usually go and fall
I just want it all

Hairs on my arm stand when you come walking
And I need you now like I’ve never needed someone before

I want to live, and that life is one that only you can give

I kiss you in all my dreams, we float in a never ending stream

But life is so fucking cruel, but that doesn’t mean…that I can’t undermine it’s rule

I’ve been knocked down but I won’t be broken

Bent and snapped back with my hands together hoping

Used to slop with diphen compounds but now I hear money sounds

Been tested by the times and now I’ve come round

You can hold me close now and know that when I jump I won’t drown

 

 

My eyes are open, and as I stare into a rising sun I start falling forward into ol’ green grass

And I need you all to hold me now

I need something to only you can give me

I’d swim a sea, climb a mountain and fly across the world to show you what our life could be

Now don’t drop your head down and neither will I

I’ve cried so many nights without anything to hold onto

But my spirit is healing, and now I’m a better man

I’ll give you a hand when you need help and can’t stand

I’ll fight into I conquer these emotions and blast off far beyond this land

A hole in the Earth

My way out

Because I don’t want to look south again, I want to win

Time will tell, when my time will begin

 

Those early mornings when I had my hands so tight hoping

Praying that when I met that girl in my fucking dreams that her arms would be open

Nightmares from the bottom while I hold you on top

All the pain I’ve ever felt leads me to this moment

All the emotions in my gut can’t stop me, I busted out my chains and even a plane couldn’t bring me high enough

I’m going past the sun, I’m running away from home and I know now that I won’t be broken

Those days when I was reeling, laying on the ground covered in fresh blood

My dad angry and my mom crying a symphony

When I was in the mud, you were in my dreams

I need something that only you can give

Damn I’ve got this feeling that I might have seen an angel

Damn you might just be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen

You are a queen and I am a grain of sand, I’m a river while you are all the land in the whole fucking world

I might just bust right out of Earth not knowing where I’m headed

 

I used to sing into the night and write little odes

I met some girls and hit some lows

I’ve met god’s creatures but damn girl I’m hoping that we go to hell together
Left hoping that we can blow this whole fucking world open

Used to slop with diphen compounds now I’m hearing money sounds with my hand in the air

I’ve run away but now it’s time to stay, I’ve got some magic up this old sleeve
I want to show you that I’ve fallen so much and I’ve bent but never broken

My heart is soaking, arms open and my hands together praying for something real

No time to grieve

 

Can you love me more then I love you?
Let’s paint the sky different colors when your days are blue
Lets shoot a hole in the Earth, I haven’t felt this young since my birth

Screaming inspired verses atop god’s highest peak
I’ll never come down

I’ll never come down!

 

 

C17H21NO

(Chris)

 

A Breakthrough, to make you live with your descisions…to put you in position. Your one of us… Dottin’ COMS, droppin bombs on such a fragile system. The “Rounds” of a victim. VT to CT, and back. To know when our feelings react, with multicolored caps. Your sanity wouldn’t last, and to that we laugh. Oh the eyes of a deprived past… Cut the “highs” when physical systems collapsed.

 

 

 

(Anthony)

 

Chris and I are about to bring reality to this shit, my fear is the world is reading us crooked

 

It felt like we were waiting for decades so we took it for the dictatorship

 

I spell and pronounce the prophecy, it seems like this establishment kept its commonwealth naïve and illiterate

 

They taught them to spew out all this happy go lucky rhetoric

 

 

 

(Chris) Handling, ATAXIA to the MAX. While…Structures Keep You Trapped. With your head up high, at that. Lose the diet of meds, then fast.

 

(Anthony)

 

The macabre, I depend on it

 

Without it I’d be a happy invalid

 

Chasing Dreams that aren’t what they seem, rearrange my knuckles as I blow off steam

 

Add a dose of hate; let’s get down to the shit

 

Raise my digits quick but it’ll never be the end of it

 

 

 

(Chris) Evidence suggests that we stay away, from rat feins, who say they can Hear Our Pain. …And their brains can maintain, if we refrain, …from exposing their dreams of a higher place. So, wear the shoes of a holder to “constant change”. Feel hate, when we feel collective embrace.

 

 

 

 

 

(Anthony)

 

I was a lost soul, I lead by example

 

Bred to be a prodigy, with new souls to trample

 

I’ve got phantoms on my shoulders assembled; get side tracked by backwards emotions but I stay central

 

I’m fuckin mental

 

We swerve to the fast lane and the speed of sound stutters, we are raising prodigies

 

Brilliant oddities

 

In the distance you hear thunder

 

In my periphery

 

I sense wonder, What’s their history? Where do they come from? Why should this mean shit to me?

 

Mix double definitions of illness, a dual diagnosed calamity, Affluent in the language of insanity

 

God fucked with us, and we waited patiently, Spat modern Shakespeare in a brilliant rhyming pattern

 

If Men come from mars, then we originate from motherfucking Saturn

 

And If God is real, and then may he grant me the serenity to fuck you up

 

Let you feel the pain of the lepers

 

Let you Run out of Luck

 

 

 

(Chris) Fuck “The We”, Feed on 3 more. They contribute to a Farm-Party Of Four. Then feed the youth the main cause of war. Take a look. Fucking open your eyes. The drugged hold our streets with positive vibes. All the time. Steelys or Red Wine. Your superiors live life. Forget mine.

 

(Anthony)

 

Blame it on the Drugs, and the medicine?

 

Or the material that is made from ambition and pseudoephedrine

 

Write a Best seller without pills, well I’m dead then

 

I guess it’s cool for people to torture you half your life, domestic abuse for six years due to your own strife?

 

But Boy, you can be a born again Christian

 

My father paid his tribute, and the bullshit he will listen

 

I’ve got two brothers and mother and that’s my family

 

Chris and I are just beginning to stand tall; my father means fuck all

 

The Devil closed the door but I pick a good lock

 

I’m making six figures while getting taunted by a demon holding his Sesame street Cock?

 

I spew rhymes like rounds from a Glock, thinking about the days when my statistics were snug next to a blade in my tube sock

 

You say you feel my pain, I should be happy?

 

Are fucking stupid, or Just Daffy

 

I told you hate begets a book contract, so motherfuckers stay out of contact

 

I wrote a love poem to make up for what the world lacks

 

We hear abuse not a clap

 

This is Truth not rap

 

And I already killed cupid

 

I ostracized his wings, see you knew because you use his freshly cut ideology as your bling, you hypocrite romanticized normal thing  

 

(Chris) From the start, when sick, we sip potion. Then move on to the next forward motion. This could seem beyond my comotion. So Take A Minute and let make locomotion. …OF the word, your hopes in, a better world to loathe in. Start to feel you incline, slopin.

Regret to Forget

I’ve built a massive wall, but can’t build up my dots

I’ll break the small rules if it will show you lot

That I’m different from you and you aren’t the same as me

And the saddest thing I know is the fate of people close to me

Shadows of movements that I can’t see

Its not the end for you but it is for me 

I am a shadow among men who is dying from regret

I’m so in love with you, are you with me?

I’m lost in your space, and I’ll just take all that I can get

 

Sometimes I think and I fret

If life’s a game then let me place my bet, but if I lose what do I get?

I’d do anything if the thoughts could leave me alone

I might be a dog to you but don’t you dare throw me a bone

And I might be different from the rest , but I understand my fate

I am a shadow among men dying from regret

I’m so in love with your eyes, but show me the rest

I’m lost in the question but let me guess

 

I gaze at the starry night, twilight via dimming lights

The ambition, dead to rights

Space between the incision

Not picture perfect, just polished with precision

And as I deal with regret, I awake up from a winter sleep scared

But I know I am living

I’m right there when you’re upset

But I am a shadow among men who is dying from regret

I’m so in love with our past, but it’s filled with descent

I’m so in love with your sighs, can you hate me one more time

As I cry from regret will you appear at my steps

When I disappear will there be any regret

When I die will you forget?

Battle Cry (Rerelease)

This is the life under thunder storms, uppers like lightning and downers like Grunge Tic-Tacs

Those banging their heads to Kurt Cobain with their feet up in an upper class cul-de-sac

We live to learn the conscious expression is whack and society carries around flack because now being fat is worse than being black

Soak in the poison and believe in lighter days and lights at the ends of dark tunnels, believe that the chants and battle cries of a generation of that make believe that a brighter day shall come, as we burn Mercedes and thousand dollar tees

Beauty is only what you perceive

We rise with swords and guns as mother earth grieves

The noise drifts away and so do autumn’s leaves; it is we who should flee the smog and the desolate black clouds

The stories read aloud to children are corporate mechanisms and your sex life is a euphemism

The young boy plots revenge with slits on his wrists while his brother is in the next bar getting pissed

We fell in love with an antonym, waiting for the horns, flutes and the rest of Gabriel’s orchestra to begin

 

They sing and sing, buildings fall to the earth, but some could say this is a good start

the beginning, the birth without a hand held camera in sight

The wraiths write and the flickering lights from human indulgence splashes onto the scene like a bat out of hell

His words are hate out of heaven, we try to escape life unscathed but we lost so much time that we can’t find seven or eleven

We lost so many memories stored in the back of a machine

Your smile is that of a backwards gleam,

We don’t believe in family, don’t believe what’s said

What the fuck you going to do when you cut yourself and they criticize how much you bled

Fall back into the universe your peripheral blood red

The protest and the songs of the dead condone the joke and what we don’t know

We pray to a god and its divinity

We’d die for what we haven’t seen, just to fall from infinity

 

In a million years?

We’ll be happily searching through thousands years of rhymes and slime, but we go on searching line about you and me, we search for the crack of lightning that lets you understand an epiphany

Misspelling your future, we have an app for that

Talk back to the battle cries of a generation, will result in a crack or a slap

The greatest consumers of all, born into the era of crack

Hypocrites rendered into a higher place

The joke is that none of them know who they are at all

Small, skinny, black, white or tall, technology killed the Trojan horse as the entire history falls

We philosophize whilst snorting the purest lines

Party in South London while listening to grime

From every fight to all mankind, tessellate in their tirade, the art is that we laughed at all and the only crime is that they never allowed us to fall

Nightmares/Dreams

NIGHTMARES:

 

Tears on the hillside, please don’t take me this way

I want to stay and become somebody, I want to prove you all wrong

And I can see the city at night from my bedroom window

Gashes from lashing on my legs

But I don’t want your tears

I just want you to know

That if meteors came falling from the sky, I’d still be there to love you

When the music stopped I’d be there to sing

I want you to listen to me

I just want you know, that I’m bigger then this

 

I hurt your child and you look down at me

But I feel like I’ve been away while you got to sit and stay

Don’t look at me, please don’t look at me that way

I’m scared of the pain and the long hard days

These black eyes and the nights when I didn’t know if I’d stay alive

My mother sleep, apologies on his bloodied fists

I don’t want your tears and I don’t need your love

I just want you to know

That when night dawned on my side I needed someone to care

I needed something to be there

Don’t you dare look at me that way

Don’t talk about me that way, don’t you dare

Because I’ve gone through the fucking shit, while you got to float away

I needed a home, while you needed your day

 

And I’ve fought for my life every single night

I did everything to keep breathing, I had to keep my eyes open to keep seeing

And I know that I’ve been gone while you got to sit and stay

I’ve been wrong, and that’s all you say

I need someone to love me, and need to make sense of these nightmares

This is a righteous plea, because fear has a hold on me

I’ve apologized a million times through so many rhymes, but you’ve read but one

Please don’t take me this way, I can’t take seeing the past

I don’t have time for arguments and back talk, I want something to happen

And I’ll say it one more time, I don’t need your love, I don’t need your hugs

 

I just want you to know

I’ve been through the night times, I’ve been through the halls

I was being hurt, but you didn’t hear my call

So don’t you dare look at me that way, don’t you dare have a word to say

This is my time, this is for me

Some nights when I’d rather flee, then have nightmares I can’t make sense of

Some nights I’d do anything to relive what I had to see

 

 

DREAMS:

 

I got up at sunrise, looking at a lonely bed thinking about the past

Been walking the streets looking for love since I was a kid

Now since I’ve been writing a book, I’ve been craving a new look

Something to burn my world or at least give me a little spark

 

Had  trouble In high school, not to much to say

Now I’m living a different a way

Same clothes but In a different fashion

I’ve been moving around the place listening to some old time beats

I’ve got love and just a little passion

And now I need some action

 

I’ve been living with a broken heart, self medicating to mend the wounds

Now it’s time to go downtown

Down Terrace

Down the street looking for a little dove to turn my world around

The message couldn’t have ever been clearer, and I’m thinking about traveling

Make a name for myself

And If you don’t want to be by my side then I could find some pretty little help

I like you girl, the way you move and dance

Springsteen vibe but we’ve got some candles ablaze

The way you move, damn it’s got me In a bit of a daze

Call it a phase

But at least it’s got a name

I’ve been feeling the same way for to damn long, so it’s time to not write a wrong but make some new rights

Checking the next flights

Family disses me but they know where to bite

Friends aren’t what they used to be

Looks like I’m going in alone

 

Feeling inspired in the streets of this town

Aspiration to flip that frown and make something oh so real

Feels like I’ve got my own theme song, moving my ass to a new feel

Thinking about all those days when I was so scared and crying

I’d be lying if right now I didn’t say that I was feeling like that man In the mirror was someone that I could get used to

I want to see Europe, looking for new vibes

Life carved me up but the rest of me is ready to start

Plight and Fury (Release 2)

Fingers covered in ink, mind like a contraceptive, make the music something you can step with but don’t overdue the loops, shoot hoops with Versace boots betting on military coups whilst down in the blues.

Feeling some type of way, ready to take over

The setbacks have been severe, wondering if people still care, I’ve been going hungry no food in the house and no new clothes not no new friends, sharp razors and lose ends

But here I am still full of hope, some nights it’s hard to cope with all the potential, destroy the next phenomenon and then burn all that’s sentimental, because I’m invading kindle because my words are mentally ill, went to private hospital but couldn’t pay the bill and I went to a graveyard with time to kill

Even Still, I’m not who I used to be before, ruthless as I fit the bill, ready to die, ready to kill

Not a man around who can stop me, not a plan that’s sound that would drop me. The sick part is that I’m not that bad, I whine about what I had, cry for my dad but nothing to be ashamed of

They mock me and threaten to give me a slug, but they are just bugs slightly perpendicular to the whole I dug, lots of crud and lots of bullshit, sometimes my brain is on empty but the ideas flooded just won’t fit

Sometimes I scream so the angels will carry me away

God might be great be he hasn’t answered anything that I’ve said

I’m going to tell him about himself the day I die, and I’m going to create swords of every tear that I cried

Every day without electricity and going hungry, stare down the competition because my friends love me

Talking shit like my mouth was a toilet, maybe I never knew who I was enough to even kill myself, food for thought so don’t spoil it

Mad decent on wheels but we have to constantly oil it

 

And this is my ambition, shaking so much that you think I had a condition

But it’s anger repeating in repetition

Been rejected to so many times, hated and disliked

To the death I’m sick, write pieces with ice picks

Before I sat where I sit, I was an distorted animal something like a bull pit

Pressured to throw in the paw and quit

But now I’m trending like a Twitter fit

 

Roll my eyes into the back of my head while throwing up signs with my deformed fingers

Throwing pitches and this one is a sinker, but as my product falls to dirt there are so many things I need to say  but I don’t know how

I’m in my zone but I don’t know how far I’m allowed, but don’t kill my mojo

Might not be the best but I’m banging my chest

More hyped then the rest, humbed to be alive after four attempts on my life

This is the rage, depression, love and plight

Of Anthony Day Grandin