UnDead

 

 

Testosterone

 

My heart is in custody and my mind beneath my id, my veins bulged as I had a gun to the side of my fucking head

A rat as a friend and a fiend sitting next to me waiting for Gabriel to put a tune to his end, crying in the background of a town with little sound and even less substance

Bones to mend as I bathe extensively in my sin
Enjoy the violence in complete silence and stop for a long wait

Belief in my reasoning is what brought me to this apocalypse

You broke my mind and sent me down through this hell

Dying to get away from myself, and living to see the result

 

Bang my chest with my eye closed to help me believe that my actions were more than what they were

All the dreams I had about her were due to my absence of faith

Used to not have a pot to piss but now my mouth plugged so I can’t even shit

Cut open my guts to show people I’m a real person, wit and denial build my confidence as the depression worsens

Missing someone that love and not understanding what the fuck love is

Chasing after a nice face and a big pair of tits, some zest and then some nice ol’ hips

Fetish gear and whips, masks with blood running down your leg

Forced to plead and beg as God takes my innocence

He may have the upper edge but he isn’t winning this

Never Broken

 

I stare into the apocalypse

Glitter in the shadows of the night

I’ve been knocked down but I won’t be broken

Bent and snapped back with my hands together hoping

Used to slop with diphen compounds but now I hear money sounds

Been tested by the times and now I’ve come round

You can hold me close and know that when I jump I won’t drown

 

I’ve got a feeling in my stomach that I found something so rare

But distance has never been on my side I fear

And when I count on luck, I usually go and fall
I just want it all

Hairs on my arm stand when you come walking
And I need you now like I’ve never needed someone before

I want to live, and that life is one that only you can give

I kiss you in all my dreams, we float in a never ending stream

But life is so fucking cruel, but that doesn’t mean…that I can’t undermine it’s rule

I’ve been knocked down but I won’t be broken

Bent and snapped back with my hands together hoping

Used to slop with diphen compounds but now I hear money sounds

Been tested by the times and now I’ve come round

You can hold me close now and know that when I jump I won’t drown

 

 

My eyes are open, and as I stare into a rising sun I start falling forward into ol’ green grass

And I need you all to hold me now

I need something to only you can give me

I’d swim a sea, climb a mountain and fly across the world to show you what our life could be

Now don’t drop your head down and neither will I

I’ve cried so many nights without anything to hold onto

But my spirit is healing, and now I’m a better man

I’ll give you a hand when you need help and can’t stand

I’ll fight into I conquer these emotions and blast off far beyond this land

A hole in the Earth

My way out

Because I don’t want to look south again, I want to win

Time will tell, when my time will begin

 

Those early mornings when I had my hands so tight hoping

Praying that when I met that girl in my fucking dreams that her arms would be open

Nightmares from the bottom while I hold you on top

All the pain I’ve ever felt leads me to this moment

All the emotions in my gut can’t stop me, I busted out my chains and even a plane couldn’t bring me high enough

I’m going past the sun, I’m running away from home and I know now that I won’t be broken

Those days when I was reeling, laying on the ground covered in fresh blood

My dad angry and my mom crying a symphony

When I was in the mud, you were in my dreams

I need something that only you can give

Damn I’ve got this feeling that I might have seen an angel

Damn you might just be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen

You are a queen and I am a grain of sand, I’m a river while you are all the land in the whole fucking world

I might just bust right out of Earth not knowing where I’m headed

 

I used to sing into the night and write little odes

I met some girls and hit some lows

I’ve met god’s creatures but damn girl I’m hoping that we go to hell together
Left hoping that we can blow this whole fucking world open

Used to slop with diphen compounds now I’m hearing money sounds with my hand in the air

I’ve run away but now it’s time to stay, I’ve got some magic up this old sleeve
I want to show you that I’ve fallen so much and I’ve bent but never broken

My heart is soaking, arms open and my hands together praying for something real

No time to grieve

 

Can you love me more then I love you?
Let’s paint the sky different colors when your days are blue
Lets shoot a hole in the Earth, I haven’t felt this young since my birth

Screaming inspired verses atop god’s highest peak
I’ll never come down

I’ll never come down!

 

 

If She Ever Came Back to Me…

And if she ever came back to me, the moon would be so bright that I could live through the nights

The light, would guide me on an open path, and each challenge wouldn’t need my fucking wrath

I’d feel, all the emotions again that used to crawl through my skin

My fears, nothing but idol signs and I could spend my time writing some rhymes

And Life, wouldn’t be so hard I could worry about going instead of keeping my mind on when I’d depart
The start, would be so far from the end, and the pain would break not just bend

And if she ever came back to me through the fog I could see, so far into a hopeless fight, so many bright lights

The love, not a word I’m supposed to say but these poems are made in an honest way

The kiss, is better than anything I think after I could even sing
Her eyes, are so beautiful and there’s nothing more to say

Her face, is so fucking cute, when I look at it I go simply mute

The end, wouldn’t begin and I’d have time to wash away every sin

 

And if she came back to me I’d finally feel free, from the shackles that hold me back from glee

The agony, of being so far away, I think about her every second of every day

The tears, they stroll down so long, she told me not to love her so I feel I’m doing something wrong

The songs, so many that I wrote, they weigh so heavy they could sink my boat

The wish, is that maybe one day something could change and maybe our lives we could rearrange

But if she came back, I’d be the happiest, but as long as she is happy I’ll stay where I stand

Life is Simulation

This sickness is spreading across the world
We are losing documents, important facts and precious pearls Life became a series of swirls with women obsessed with men and men obsessed with girls
Is life that important?
Or are we just living through a simulation
Is everything real around us?
Or are we truly plagued by ourselves and the aftermath of pontification
With no hesitation, we plunge forward
Slowly moving backwards, going nowhere
But it would appear that we are swarmed with fear, life stands still
With those dark nights when we wonder if we will wake up
What is next when we die?
Will we float beyond the horizon, or drown in the high tide of the spiritual univers
Life is simulation, simply in writing
We wonder what this life is, and we must make it exciting

Epochs and Entities

We lost the controller to the machine, but it controls itself alone desperate beneath ages of science

Ethics and Epochs don’t always mix with compliance, if I could wipe this world up I’d dance one more time before the meteors come crashing down and the planets collide

No Blurred lines, no blurred images, just mass death and proof that this was the end

Not the end we expected, but something to talk about and make a joke or two, maybe three?
We have a couple of minutes to serenade so let’s get it done, food for thought moments away from being cooked and shoved onto a broken plate, thoughts of the future cracked like what I can’t see

I couldn’t feel anything all I saw was the meteors coming my way

Words couldn’t describe anything and nothing came to my mind to say

I was watching what used to be lies and myths unfold, the thunder I could hear sprawling through my window

I was terrified, the apartment was blood red and my fear splattered upon the four walls of my sanctuary

I had no way to communicate, my voice was taken away and buried beneath a childlike wonder of the doom that was head

I slip the blinds back and saw meteors falling from the sky, the city looked to be falling off the edge of the earth slowly descending upon the bowels of Earth, and I found religion suddenly because it looked like the worst hell there was

I dived forward to grab hold of something that wasn’t there

I’d surrender in fear if I knew that my prayers would be answered sincere.
The world was ending, and I had ten minutes to tell you how….

iLL

I want to bleed them dry, I’ll Never die, ill immortalize my name, Although I’d take a very nice pen over nice cars and fame, Go!

 

I’m gonna dance as your pendulum swings, I’m gonna grace the sky as you start thinking about when to begin, No! I want to end when they start spitting benign words, I want to roll my dice and never die, and I want to take your pitiful ego and bleed it dry

 

 

 

I hear them laughing as I wake up in hell, but I’m a chemical that doesn’t mix well, I’m perpendicular to sick, parallel to whatever is left, I want to go iLL and stand still, I never took my eyes away when I wasn’t the predator but the kill

 

Now I dance to an ominous tune, I’m the king of the hill, independent of the population’s unrealistic lust of the dollar bill, I repudiate therapy and request for the slub to twist aside, I smile as the painful episodes subside, this is the season and I’m ready for war, but I have to stay alive as my mind contemplates treason, I continually attempt to outsmart reason

 

 

 

I told you I’m a chemical that doesn’t mix, above adolescence so please save your tricks, you cant insure this type of fire, you can’t stare at the starlight as the game switches lanes. These rules are insane, but my grandma said beat them up, Plain

 

 

 

Yo, you don’t know my past so don’t judge my present pain, you can’t predict my iLL tendencies, you could pick the day when I’ve fired my restraint, and I’ve earned the right to reign upon what is left, I’m Ambidextrous, so I’ll always have the upper hand, I’m a poor excuse of a man but I have the most desirable girl in the land, YES!

 

 

 

Every time I publish a poem I spit in the trauma that won’t leave me alone yeah, because you aren’t talking to a typical body laced with perfection, this is the shit coming from the poster boy of something killer that embraces his own rejection, I’m just iLL far from an infection. I rock my head to Indie pop, my wordplay transcends a common flow, call it Poetic Diddy Bop

 

 

 

Yeah, I’m Going to Do it, make it look pretty in every way, I want to be her city everyday

 

Yeah, I’m going to Do it, stand by everything I ever did say, I want to be with my Dad everyday

 

 

 

Motherfuck this god damn Cabaret, I’m gonna glorify my sickness and Identity. Don’t step on my amendment, constantly, this is way too dramatic to be a play, but don’t distort the arrangement or skip the foreplay, you’ll have a youthful Killswitch Engagement, so watch what you Say

 

Stay and mix my emotion, I think about disses and chaos, as my cat pisses and licks his missing balls, just like I wrote this piece and duty calls, my grandma told me, beat them up plain

 

Touch the sky strong, and make my spherical heart oblong, I’ll turn my suffering into a song, a golden oldie instead of trying to keep it where it belongs. I wrote survivor art and a renaissance, I’m far beyond living for what’s right and wrong…

 

I’m going to do it for my grandma so every time she wakes up, she can see her grandson is keeping it tough

 

I’m Going to do it for my grandma so every time she wakes up, she can see her grandson is keeping it tough

 

Hit It Yeah! I wish life was fair, but I have to enjoy the time and not make it so rough, I’m gonna hold her hand so when she wakes up, I can remind her that I stayed tough…

Isolation/Agreed

, Isolation

Oh, I wish you see all this beauty, i wish this tear painted a picture of light, I wish i knew who i am, I wish i was alright

Haunted by Self-Reservation, Curious beyond all the lies, someone go help that poor baby, i cant take listening to him cry, without love he surely will die

I grew plants in Isolation, I taught it everything it knows, confused by its transformation, its hideous beyond its wildest imagination, it regains power quicker then I

I picked skin in Isolation, to balance my fucked up mind. I dreamed of blue lakes and the sky, but i loathed all of mankind

If I prayed to loud they would beat me, so it was hard to remember my lines

These walls were made out of memories, so many i couldnt recall. So I began to rewrite the bible, Revelations didnt match an inevitable fal

I thought about all my friends all throughout the world, to balance my lonely thoughts

I wanted to go and see them, but if I did id surely be caught

Isolation was the uglist cell, but view wasnt really to bad. They teased me with laughter and games, to keep us so fucking sad

The walls whispered of a riot, i believed on true, If I met my maker, i’d beat him until he was blue, but the chaos in isolation, came when the moon was blue

The spirits howled and screamed, as my sentence came to an end. My body was so weak that i could barely stand

I hugged the walls like my mother, i wanted to conquer the land

They hit me until i moved, but i stood where i would stand…

 

 

AGREED

Have you Heard this before, in your aural periphery, I downtuned my emotions to make them muggy on a beautiful day

My friend’s body was left swinging, we were taught spirituality as we drowned in herbal tea, I questioned my dignity day by day, I wrote that boy’s eulogy, but only my pen had something to say

I DONT LIKE THIS SHIT

I DONT LIKE THIS MUD

He was a good kid, i question why the best tend to spill their blood

We were in a state of desperation, be we have to agree with their Law

YOU DONT NEED THIS DISEASE

YOU DONT NEED TO SEE WHAT I SAW

PLEASE DONT GET THIS DISEASE

PLEASE DONT SEE WHAT I SAW

The Hallways smelled like the present, the future was what they made us resent

Relentless Fire, but he burst his flesh because he wanted a kiss

I HATE THIS SHITI DONT LIKE THE WAY IT LOOKS

I want to hear some music that means something to me

Far from an urban hymms, Im not a fan of melodies, jingles or Epiphanies

I escaped isolation, but this was another time

I do myself a diservice with suede rhymes positive flow laced with wind chimes

I like simple things

Im not a Man of my word

We’ve seen to much to go along with drama and beef

The children dont understand its KILL, KILL, KILL, KILL…

We forgot the ways our mothers raised us

We forgot the days, when there was difference between right and wrong

Its just been to long…

I felt like Layne Steeley was singing to me as i slept, I  felt like I was losing what they taught me, the heart i wish i could’ve kept

Drugs took my friends away, Poison grabbed my closest friends

Sobriety will save me from my end

I was chained, but i have love to send, but when i look around i still hate all this shit

Everything i see, you have to respect my pain, maybe believe, what this place is doing to me

Im going to stand when im told to sit!

Why is it weak to cry for my friends floating in the sky

I cry everyday reliving the day they died

I cant think of them, I Cry when i think of where i had to begin

MY HAND GRACED THE SKY, AND I LOVE TO SHOW THEM WHERE I AM

 

Nothing to Lose (Re-Release)

November 23, 2012 at 3:10am

 

I need to find of meaning of my own 

Because the ghost of the past keeps roaming through these halls

Its the chill that runs through my body when yu call, and its the words that I remember when you speak

Its the souveniers from the destruction i chose to keep

The layers of stone that I dig, not deep enough

The barrier between between you and I had been so tough

Worrying about the label, striking late night reminder

I used to cry heavy tears because I thought i’d never find her

Lovelorn and torn, confused days going from the chosen one to wishing i was never born

I would have sworn the wind was blowing this way, I was wrong and left to worship the ashes of yesterday

I used to smile and strip down my fears, they were displayed naed for a person who I thought truly did care

I would always battle your demons with you dear, but I cant replace your lovers from the past so through throw me to the side

If the words were sewn together then I know the string lied

If the world was to collapse, then at least I tried

Clear Skies, and I wish i could be everything they are

I wouldnt be me, but i’d be closer to you

Not forced to look from so far

The solemn aggression of the night as I wish upon a star

I want to scream just to petrify the pendelum, burn the blasphemy to perpetuate the other side of the discusion

I can emphasize your touch

I thought the days we watched each other were sincere

I was met on those empty nights with the moons stare 

Things change, but that doesnt make it fair

There was a drumroll

My heart raced with the pace of the shadows

I rise in the darkness still to cast a doubt

I’m the main character of my story, but i never wrote what it is about

And as I sit and wonder what happened to you and me I bleed thinking of you and him

I destroy, construct and burn to begin

My scriptures laced with sin, holding for dear life waiting for it to actually begin

I need to lean on you

I need to understand whats true and not confuse times where i only have little to gain and nothing to lose, no in between

 

Actions Speak Loud, But Words Can Be Amplified

 

Actions speak loud, but words can be amplified

 

We expected some kind of night today, rats in the alley won’t integrate

 

Pleasure of the night locked away, worship an epoch ignore reality

 

Wont serenade

 

Watching the night catch fire with a pair of new shades

 

It’s the bombs of the past that make us pontificate

 

Its corporate skylines and sealed doors that keep us in place

 

Ticking time bomb, time to start the race

 

I’ll tell you about rats in the alley to calculate

 

Placebo is the isle as sunset waits, for the world to adjust to oversized cities

 

Actions speak loud, but words can be amplified

 

I fell into the mud but at least I tired, the moon is revealing the time and I can’t breath

 

There are a thousand great things coming this way, but society really messed up today

 

Blasphemy is painted on the pictures of life, integrity is being held down by a knife

 

Rats in the alley won’t leave and they’re desperate

 

Holding onto the problem like a surrogate, process the information and we won’t chase it down

 

They can’t control what we say, as they turn into protesting vibrant sounds

 

Burning towns, wishing that the echo wasn’t around

 

Howling trees, a gust of wind whispering to

The racing rats march as they

The highway is full and they stare like enemies 

The walls are building with a propensity

They are imposters, this isn’t the world’s entity

The rats are running with divinity

The beaches are covered with regret and lost hope

Delve deep into the bright city to find treasure and elegant lights

Breakdown to cope, but the skyscrapers suggest rebuilding

The buildings prove there is no god, so we just go on believing in luck

This is a bleak existence as the city approaches a black hole

They made the gun, but we made the goal

We’d do anything to see the sun

 

Regret to Forget

I’ve built a massive wall, but can’t build up my dots

I’ll break the small rules if it will show you lot

That I’m different from you and you aren’t the same as me

And the saddest thing I know is the fate of people close to me

Shadows of movements that I can’t see

Its not the end for you but it is for me 

I am a shadow among men who is dying from regret

I’m so in love with you, are you with me?

I’m lost in your space, and I’ll just take all that I can get

 

Sometimes I think and I fret

If life’s a game then let me place my bet, but if I lose what do I get?

I’d do anything if the thoughts could leave me alone

I might be a dog to you but don’t you dare throw me a bone

And I might be different from the rest , but I understand my fate

I am a shadow among men dying from regret

I’m so in love with your eyes, but show me the rest

I’m lost in the question but let me guess

 

I gaze at the starry night, twilight via dimming lights

The ambition, dead to rights

Space between the incision

Not picture perfect, just polished with precision

And as I deal with regret, I awake up from a winter sleep scared

But I know I am living

I’m right there when you’re upset

But I am a shadow among men who is dying from regret

I’m so in love with our past, but it’s filled with descent

I’m so in love with your sighs, can you hate me one more time

As I cry from regret will you appear at my steps

When I disappear will there be any regret

When I die will you forget?