White and Black
We were both born in our place
Just like eventide’s setting sun
The hum of your summer face
That let me know you were the one
The distance in our lives, our hearts
What does that mean?
Is it my ways or the darkness that my skin gleams?
Or are we just hopeless servants of a lost dream
We just would like to know?
That if we plant seeds
Will there still be ground to grow
Our stunted melody, dying to flow
Your heart and your eyes
Stars grazed by the heat of the sun
Because when I first saw you there
I knew you were the one
They keep telling me, and I don’t care
When they tell you, I know that you feel fear
But time and time again, I’d still see you there
Sitting across from me, with your bright red hair
And if you my were forbidden fruit
Then I was just another nigger that had history on mute
2 minutes and 40 Seconds
I always wanted to live by night, through my dreams
Floating along the river, my mindless stream
All I once loved, where I once breathed
The life and love, dying to see her face
I would look, but I’ve been fighting the mountains
To get those images erased
I’ve been flying along the clouds, to present my case
I’ve been the only thing coming, in this listless place
And I now I feel I’m waking up
They Want Me Dead
There I was at the back of the station, with nothing
Nothing to go around
Then I was star struck, stunned
By all the cityscape sounds
Of happiness and spoiled food
You were the most important thing to us
But then you fell out
They want me dead
I know , I know
There I was at the back of the station
Where I heard myself breathing
I was lost, my mind wandering, flowing with speed of sound
My lungs stuck in town
My head far up above this space
The place we call home
But then I fell out
They want me dead, I know, I know
There I was on my way back home
They were lighting the flame, with not a home to go to
And not a space to breathe
I was lost in hellfire
I was lost in life
Along a narrowed path, beaten and bruised
I was returning home, with nothing in my pocket
Nothing to lose, nothing to go around
They want me dead
They want me dead
They always have
Home
I thought I found a home, in space
Nestled in between the stars , the sun and the moon
I thought I found a home, in space
Fishing for a shooting star
Holding your hand
The hand I’d never let go
I thought I found a home, on Earth
Lost in those loveless summers
The world pounding with violent thunder
I felt the ground shake beneath my feet
I felt our youthful hearts cheat
And In the valley where the end of love and time meet
I looked up at the gaping sky
To find a spot in space where we could flee
A place we could call home
Underneath the stars and the Intergalactic sea
The dream, I thought I found a home, in a dream
In space, where we believed
In that dream, of the fireworks lighting the sky
For all of us to see
I’d grab your hand, so we can flee
To an unrealistic desire, that memory
I’ve been searching for days
It’s been so hot, in so many ways
I’ve been looking for you so long
I’ve been chasing shadows
Wondering if your gone
And it was just me and you and the sun
The way you danced and the way you’d run
It was just one of those perfect days
It had been so hot in so many ways
I had been out in the wild
Thinking about those days I had
That smile you had and all that we dreamed
The way it worked and the way it seemed
I loved you but did you love me
You were just the only one that’d see
Blinding dark, seamless light
Your kiss had me in the back, out of sight
It was just one of those perfect days
How you danced around in that perfect way
Hate Begets Hate, Finale
On this level of hell, where we are within the pulse of the city
The dirty walls, the disgusting halls
Where we would mingle with many
Within the hate, just below the poverty line
Where every day we saw eye to eye with the reality
On the cold hard pavement of the city
Where we kept our nose clean, our feet, covered with pity
The speech, it could heard, time and time again
Ignored, the epitome of sin
Where it is written, we scream out loud
Possessed by those angry spirits, those ancestors
Reliving the memory, that image, the blood
Time and time again, in ignorance, is the purest sin
Because the word that we use time and time again
Ignorance, where we were abused by many
Living within the pulse of our city
Our hearts kept on beating, the sorrow that we faced everyday
Brought us to wake up that next day, On this level of hell
Where you can’t take another minute, another step
Every day, until tomorrow, because until today
We couldn’t make another step, we couldn’t forget
Time and time again
Time and time again, in ignorance, the fallen angels sing
{The Fifth Sun}
It’s been so so long
But I’ve been born again
Underneath the starlight and the river’s stream
I was floating beyond the pier
I became the sun’s glare, the moon’s shine
The pencil and the paper
As it drew the line
I had become lost and sick
Within a bottomless pit, I was born again
In lust, desire and sin
Floating beyond the Pines
As I was revived
By eventide’s jolt, all I desired came to a halt
I saw myself where I wanted to be
I saw the things I wanted to see
And all that I believed, floating by the sea
As I grew old, the times felt cold
The clock I used, was from the time I stole
And the hearts I kept, became more precious than gold
{Cold War}
From beneath our broken Earth
Our bones will rise, like the dirt in the wind
The rain will pound our bleeding hearts
Like the eye of a violent storm
Moments to realize
That the storm is here
To wash away all that we called dear
All that we once feared, all we said we loved
Lost, evaporating away in the night
When we could love, we loved life
A ghost stuck in the shadows
A bleeding message, dying to be sent
A awful truth, one we resent
An underlying message, blowing in the wind
A message that will end before it begins
Only moments before we land
At our final destination
{Atlas}
I had found a home as I cowered near Poseidon
Lost in the Ocean of Space
They called it imagination, my daydreaming days
Each image burned to ashes, each time I walked alone
I was lost in the intergalactic sea
The blue mountains and red river staring back at me
The dream state that I slept in, journeying through the shadows
The meadows that I remembered in my heart
The Moon, the Frost and the Stars
I had found solace in Space, faith in population
I dreamed in light, of the darkness in the Human Race
I found Aura in the caves, Oceana rising
The diamonds and my faith, lodged in the horizon
There I was, floating away
They called it imagination, my daydreaming days
Along the hellish haze
Atlas watches on, listening to the screams and the songs
Within darkness we found an open field
Within light, I bowed my head, learning to yield
The ways of Jesus Christ, those lovelorn stars
On a listless night
3rd Grade, 2001
We kept our memories close to the chest
The lost thought in our heads
The question god imposes, the ultimate test
A Post-apocalyptic view
Of all that we once loved, what we should have known
The changing times, bleeding us dry
What we love, once gone, each day, nothing new
When we lost two towers in the sky
The songs we sang, and the stories we knew
The images we became accustomed to
As we grow, all we cherish
All we know
Lost in the memory of a dream
We were just young dreamers
Questioning the world we thought we knew
We were just young dreamers
Opening our arms to the new world
The world wanted to see what we were made of
Was there time to care?
Another dream lost
Vision lost, floating in air
We find ourselves melting down
Bereft with fear
Listening to all the things that they know
Wondering, will these seeds still be there to grow?
When they blur skylines, will we then know?
We were all just young dreamers
Those golden crowns and fantastical rivers
The believers, the brave hearts, the kings
The lullaby that your mother used to sing
Our brothers and sisters, where we once danced
Living life beneath a rain
The things we see, time after time
Again and Again
Bethany Starry Night
I’d glide through a starry Bethany night
Nearly five, it was Christmas and I loved all I saw
A place I felt alive, a place I could fly
Where deer’s would glide by
All the things I used to have
They went and took and grabbed
All the pieces I loved, all the kisses, the hugs
When I was young I nearly died, but I was reborn
Underneath the starry country night
It was nothing but a Bethany night, a place to live
Not a place to hide, and when I was in Bethany
I could never die, I could only go to that place
A place I’d fly
I’d glide through a starry beautiful Bethany night
I was shivering in the winter cold
The snowflakes would fall like angels
And I’d hear their songs, with all their rights
And all my wrongs
I was living in a world, that I could never forget
Where I could live and die
Live and die, night end and night out
Where I’d fly with those fallen angels
Living my life and when I’d die
I’d wake up to the snowy trees
Snow angels plastered the pavement
Staring back at me, the reflection
Something I loved,
I place I’d live
A Place I’d die
Something I loved
Where it was
And where it is, all I can’t give, the places I can’t go
The things I can’t see, the places I can’t be
Staring starry eyed, blankly, back at me
NO NOISE
Can you Feel the Flow? The fluidity, I fear that each line has its own original identity. I used to dream of going to on a big vacation, poor so forget it, thought about horseback riding instead of the Caribbean but the closest thing I got was watching pornos with sybians. Don’t say anything, but I’m beginning to sharpen, be fearful and disheartened because my body is weak but my mind is a Spartan
Do you feel the Anger? I spoke in Tongues, First it was direct publishing, now I’m flourishing after I mugged the industry, some people question my ability after they question my history, I answer in story and in mystery, I want to show you what Glory means to me. Your dealing with a poetic virtuoso, so much rage that I spit evil, this was the moment when I didn’t feel well, this wasn’t the life that I wanted, this felt like hell.
So I dressed for war, we were urban critters that blended with the dark, no west side story, but we were sharks. Billing Issues, Funerals with discount tissues, slashed tires, murder for hire, prostitution, religious institutions, the boys communicating with their hands and the self righteous Judge presiding over the witness stand. I screamed seven letter swears because I’m a beast, ravaged my moral fiber until it was left deceased, gaunt sickly body, the world is preoccupied with who is a hottie and who is a nottie, now everyone be silent for the boy with the shottie
In The clouds, they said, “Fuck the Noise, attention is the predecessor to suspicion. Don’t Look at Us For Redemption, stare at the abyss, so close to feel the flame’s tongue kiss. Grab your paper and pen, you will need it if you want this to ever end”
My Grandma told me it was the dreams i had to chase, to drop bombs on the horizon im so eager to erase. Ten years later murder was the case.
Assimillate the vocabulary to decimate, i told her i wanted to get my cut, she said to mutilate. If this book takes over, Grandin can legislate. Never hesitate to pontificate, never humiliate just eliminate.
(My First Novel is out now on Amazon available on Kindle and Paperback. Been in the Top #100,000 for Kindle this week! Reviews are coming in too. Check the book out here—–>http://www.amazon.com/The-City-Breaks-Its-Promise/dp/1490724095/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1390674109&sr=8-1&keywords=the+city+breaks+its+promise
OUR PLACE
Searching for a place to hide
In this dream
Where the hills walk along a beaten path
Where the sky screams
When I was young I would dream
Of the thunder, the days when I was younger
Gone with the horizon
Dying in the distance
Flaring in silence
Crying out for touch
All the moments that led to our love
When the Moon would appear
You were the feeling I felt, the dream realized
Kissing your ear
As all the clouds in the world surrounded the gaping sun
I took your hand so we could run
To a place where we could hide
From all of the evil in the world, just a boy and a girl
When I would stare away from your eyes
I didn’t think of anything else in the world
When the world slowed down
We stood next to each other, on a different axis
Did I tell you how much I miss you?
Can I tell you how much I care?
Did I ruin it all, when I was lost in all my fears
Did I sink so low?
Now I’m stuck, with nowhere to go
When I bump into you, will you know
That I always meant no harm
I let the words flow
Because in the weakest hearts
Love can grow, from anything
How I felt, how I feel
Failing, falling to my knees
Struggling to stay alive
Struggling to breathe
If I had to go, If I had to leave
Where would I go? and how would I keep?
That beautiful picture, of you him and me
With each passing moment I start to fade
And when I was young, I couldn’t have dreamed of this day
When I would be so far away
When I’d have so little to say
NYC to New Haven, DJ
I sat on that stool, far away from the parties noise
The bass boomed, moving targets away from me
My crosshairs were burnt
Where I wanted to be, I awkwardly shifted away
Where I couldn’t stand, I would stand, anyway
Blocking the entrance
Chilling with all my lads
The few times that I did, I always felt alone
Because I had no idea, what those pills could do to you
It was Broadway, all over again, my New Heaven
Colors flickering, the screaming in between songs
Quieted down, by the loss of grace
I left the place, stained by life
I left the place, wondering if I was truly alive
Because everyone else was so live
They were glowing youth, enjoying all they did
Doing all they did
Stealing the nicest scene, being mean, doesn’t mean anything
But what is anything but a thing
It was Broadway, called, the pavement was sickening
Killing me in my place
Reflecting the sickness of the human race
Judging them by their spats, their pounds, their face
Walking home, on the city night
In my mind, I was just always in my home
I was hardly sober, but that didn’t matter
To the moon, because it was never there
I left to soon, the sun gave me the soul I needed
My vision would never fade, as I passed the sinners on the stoops
They would hate, but I would hate me
I hate me, this city made me
Then why don’t I talk to my father
I had memorized all routes, but lost my path
I had stayed strong and stable, as I fell on my ass
I had slowly danced to the corner, not in haze
After a long day, another day
In slow motion, in haze, my heart would skip a beat
But when it would skip a beat, I’d be closer to my favorite song
When I would have a hiccup, think about the way you looked up
I’d be closer to realizing that memory again
It had been so long, the streetlights shielded the glaring truth
As I walked home, alone on those city days
My daydreams clear as day as my vision kept fading
I would see the commotion, near the club opening
I would return home, wondering if I was alive
I’d see so many people, so far away, on another day
In another time, in another city, in another world
In that Social Landscape, in the sky, in the universe
In our minds …
Higher Vision
It was all about ecstasy, my peers
Sexual desires, combustible fears
Your monument, your life steering up ahead
Flashing before your eyes
When you propel your ideas
You are changing skies, what they see
Isn’t real?
Are the king of the land
Or just another man
Are you the leader of them all
WARMTH
Here it comes again
Delay the start,
To carry on through open doors
This must be life
There is something burning at the back of my mind
I just can’t describe
I’m holding out to find light in the sky
Fireballs in the air
As I fly
Belief in the darkness
The fear in what’s not right
Begins to open up
Trying to keep my feelings from coming undone
There is something burning at the pit of my heart
Hope is a dangerous sin
I want to fly but I don’t want to fall
I want my life to begin
I know you can’t love me anymore
I don’t know how to love
Japan
I’m realizing your calling me
So I will dedicate my love to you
I will see your eyes, one day
The Osaka Sun, where I chose to run
I have seen you in paintings
I’ve seen the world, dedicated to you
So when I come screaming, will you answer
You always illustrated my dreams
No wonder I’m so in love with your sunshine
No wonder, I feel like I’m so in love with your eyes
When I see those pictures
Lost, ablaze in a stay
I see the song, they play in the cold
Because I feel like I’ve been there
I was so scared, but it feels like I’ve been there
Japan, Calling
I already know how precious you are
Green Pants or Jeans
I see your ugly face, you left me there
A child dying alone
Just a little thing
Calling out for help
I see your ugly face, it’s saving me
From my youthful desires, my PTSD
My crass enigma, my pillaging plight
When you all mobilized, to save me from hideous nights
I was thrown away, into the clouds of Mountains
Into the thrust of Colorado
Into the rush, not of gold
Foggy Green Pants, Conservative Jeans
Where do we live, there’s a means to a means
We are all poor and down trodden on this peak
He’s got gauges, why you look at me?
For my polo, wanna trade with me?
Don’t you look at me, I’m just about all you see
But there still isn’t much to what you see, fleeing in front of you
Painted all blue with all his lies true
He is nothing genuine, just a blur you see
Crying to be kept company, by a certain group
One of the social themes, lingering in society
All the ugly memes, that keep popping their heads at me
Wondering if the people I see, will ever see me
All my hate has me feeling free
While I’m just a rat in society
Looks like it’s Green Pants, Khakis or Jeans
I was wondering if the people I love would ever see me
As they keep looking back at me
On this Axis
We were on the axis, of hope, love and fear
We were going further down below
And even before hope appeared
I was lost in a love so sincere
With so many humbling lights
And so many sickening nights
Where I would feel I needed to run
But I couldn’t run away
I kept coming back
To make my stay
On this axis,
Of lost hate, drilling pain and pure desperation
Screaming out for hope, drowning in the rain
Dying, drowning in the wind
Where I would always throw my pain on you
Where I would always project my hate onto you
Because you were the only thing that was close to me
On that axis, delving down beneath the darkest depths of sea
Diving down upon hell’s last epiphany
With our last breathe, a concluding note
Without sympathy
Girls with Names that End in ‘A’
There you were on school days
Summer days, looking at her ass
Smelling her blonde hair as she’d pass
But I was too afraid, to ever go beyond
Learning her name ended with the letter ‘A’
But in school hallways, it wasn’t every day
That I could see you, who I’d love
So much, so much, today
But tomorrow I don’t know if I’ll even be alive
All I’ll ever know, slipping away
As I would hurt myself a lot
I would continue to hurt myself some more
And more and more
And then I’d come knocking on your door
As I make my way home
I try to clean it up
I know I’m just deadweight
And I’d like to clean up my act
But I’d rather go beyond being an ass
Because I don’t want to hurt your flight
You were the brightest light
You were the brightest light
I’ve had Enough
Losing my mind, scribbling on taught walls
Teaching myself grammar, my spelling
Spelled out, I can’t hear it now
Disabled, fully gone
Going insane, losing my mind again
In this craziness, in this night
Where I have been trying to find the man I was
Because I was always a boy
With a feeling, I had something, he had something
I had nothing
No point, no life, I was so far gone, Leaving this world
Leaving my life, tonight, truly hurting myself
Dying to believe
In this life
I wanted to die, I wanted to float away
Today, when I’d look to find myself
In a dream that I’m stuck in
Bursting my bubble, day after day
If I ever get home again I’ll tell you to your face
I’ve had enough, and I’m losing my mind
The writing’s on the wall
That this task is too tall
Dying to believe
In the jazz in the background
The lonely care on a street, dying to be desired
Dying to die, and living to live
Struggling with the ability to live
Not realizing the reasons life keeps on giving and giving
And why lost souls keep on living
Pulp Poem Revolution, Fuck You
Over and over again, cursed drools
Feelings collided and pills peeled their eyes
The awakened beautiful day, silently disappears
When I was far away
Over and over again
I could hear my name, being called
I could still fear my name, being smeared
Over and over again, cursed drools
Feelings collided and pills peeled their eyes
The awakened beautiful day, silently disappears
When I was far away
Over and over again
I could hear my name, being called
I could still fear my name, being smeared
Over and over again, cursed drools
Feelings collided and pills peeled their eyes
The awakened beautiful day, silently disappears
When I was far away
Over and over again
I could hear my name, being called
I could still fear my name, being smeared
BLOOD SOAKED DOLLARS
As the sun awakens
It rises over the lovelorn hills
The red sky is an initiation
For these blood soaked dollar bills
The hotels are full of ideas
Take your love
And take the rest of your day
Because If the hills had eyes
They still couldn’t hear all that people say
Life seems like nothing but a means to an end
For some it never began
The hateful shed a tear
Only when they draw a line in the sand
A BITTERSWEET MORNING
This is a poem for when the music slows down
When you have no shoulder to cry on
Your beliefs are nothing but a leaf in the mud
I thought I could trust you, I thought we were blood
There are signs of descent in every other word
You say you love me, but that’s not what I heard
Pain striking me when I’m down
I’ve lost my status
Now I’m simply your clown
There are a thousand songs to write
Only a few that touch your heart
On the way to the almighty light
Kicked the bucket in slow motion
Liquor and Pills, a magic potion
Maybe I don’t know how to love
Partially to blame
But when you find the special girl
Nothing really feels the same
Is this just a fairytale? Or is life supposed to be lived this way?
This is more than a game
There is so much more at play
We Rise
Above the Golden Hills, we raise
Along the IDES of Autumn, Summer falls
As the winters of the heavens, project their call
To the birds, the planes,
The spirits, always calling
For the long nights, the moon will guide the spirits
The mountains, will be our watchtower
Above the Golden Hills, we can hardly see
The totems of our ancestors, the ancestors we feared
The Ides of Spring seasons, blossomed by Winter’s tears
Signed Sincerely
I was given to transform, as I looked for the warmth
That inhabited the eye of the storm
After each ray of light, I’d find a reason to wither away at night
I was lost, reeling from the pain that I felt
All the love there was, buried beneath all of the mud
I was drowning on those cold nights, blinded by stars
Your love was the farthest from my heart
Beneath it all, I would call
I would always call, and as I’d find
I’d find a reason, to always call
Signed Sincerely
2283-23-28-382-382-8 DONE
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